COVEN NO-NOs

Should you ever consider joining any Coven, please be aware of the Guild of the Coven. Within are some thoughts on unexpected behavior ...
20 Ways Not to Get Invited Back to a Circle

1. Take the ritual sword from the alter and make sounds like Darth Vader..."Luke, I am your father!"...and start making light saber noises.
2. Start skat-singing when chanting.
3. Take the ritual athame from the alter and start cleaning your nails with it.
4. When taking a sip of the ritual wine, actlike a wine snob and comment on it.
5. When doing the spiral dance, make a conga line.
6. Call down the Goddess with "Get your ass down here, Big Momma!".
7. Call down the God with "Our father, who art in heaven..."
8. When chanting the names of the Goddess, randomly include Pokemon names.
9. When being smudged, complain about second-hand smoke.
10. In a drumming circle, laugh insanely and start drumming the beat to "Wipe Out".
11. When in a sky-clad circle, randomly point and laugh.
12. When the ritual wine goblet is passed to you, chug it and ask for more.
13. Invoke Santa.
14. Take out a bible and start evangelizing.
15. Light up a cigar.
16. Bring a cute furry creature and offer it as a blood sacrifice.
17. Talk a lot about casting spells for revenge against people who have offended you.
18. At a handfasting say "Thank God! Maybe now I'll get some grandchildren! "
19. When in circle, answer your cell phone.
20. Respond to "So May it Be!" with "Damn Straight Baby"



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